How thrilling. I should be able to take the car from the driveway to parked on the side of the road, right? Apparently not. I hit the mirror into the mailbox and got in trouble because I didn't put the car in park. And now Dad's mad at me, and for some reason I got all emotional about it and just dug a deeper hole. How thrilling. How absolutely positively thrilling. And I still don't know how to get the car from the driveway, up the hill, turned the right way, and parked nicely. Today's just been a thrilling day...

How to Speak Shaylynnese

Shaylynnese, otherwise know as, “That funny way Shaylynn talks,” is simply English with some simple rules thrown in. There are no exceptions, exceptions to exceptions, or other idiotic language measures-- except, of course, for the "ordinary English" part.


The Great and Mighty Rules (in no particular order and by no means comprehensive):

1) use English grammar properly
2) adding “-ish” to the end of any noun automatically turns it into an adjective
3) adding “-ish” to the end of any word adds a degree of doubt to a statemen
4) use large/uncommon words in ordinary conversation
5)a comparative/superlative purposefully misused is done to illustrate a point 
6) randomly slip into a British accent (or any accent, real or imaginary) and use words that go with it ("rather, reckon, blimey, lorry," etc.)
7) talk half with your hands or facial expressions
8) use words like “randomly” and “actually” at least five times a day
9) use an awfully large number of adjectives or adverbs
10) when describing anything wonderful, speak in a slow, overly dramatic poetic voice
11) make up your own words
12) borrow made up words (thilly, bloopa, friendle, Chewbacca)
13) talk very fast
14) do not use cliché similes and metaphors, instead, compare everything to fictional/fantasy stories
15) use old fashioned slang (jolly, dickens, awfully)
16) use sound effects
17) latch onto random/weird/technical phrases, such as "skew divergent array" or "single sided bonding device" (ie, tape)
18) use quotes abundantly-- especially ones from Chesterton
19) don't forget to learn little bits and pieces of other languages, and include that vocabulary in everyday conversation-- notwithstanding the fact that you barely know what you are saying and are using no grammar. Be sure to include obscure languages such as Elvish and Ye Olde English.
20) Exaggerate. Alot. As in, every single word must be exaggerated.
21) When writing, make ample use of pictures, codes, ciphers, and made-up shorthand, so that enemy spies will never decipher the meaning of your diary or science study guide.

Beware, Cars. And anything else on the road.

I got my driver's permit a month or so after my birthday. You might remember my frantic post about my first time driving. You'd think that a gal like me, who gets thrown into the deep end first, would be a good driver right about now?

I mean, now I know which pedal does what (which I didn't know when Dad first took me driving). I know where the little light-up-arrow-thing-that-tells-people-which-direction-you-are-turning is. Dad will not have to wrench the wheel out of my hand after telling me to "take that turn there" and I nearly hit a stop sign. I'll be able to turn the wheel-- because the wheel actually has to turn. You can't just twist it gently.

Good driver, right? No, I just freeze up and mess everything up. I haven't gotten a chance to go driving since Christmas, when Papa taught me how to park in a parking lot. (Not even backing-up parking). We've had alot of stuff going on, and despite not having anything to do besides school, cleaning, more school, and more cleaning, we manage to be pretty busy.

I've driven a total of two hours in my life-- I need at least 40 hours to get a license. At first, Mom said she would take me driving once we move. I don't know if she is mental or something-- who would want to learn to drive in a metropolis when they can learn in a little rural town?-- but the thought was that we would be less busy when we are in a new house, trying to get settled in, arranging rooms, unpacking boxes, etc. But I have to admit-- she's too busy and frantic already, and trying to find time for a nerve-wracking roller coaster ride ain't going to help.

Well, we haven't moved yet. The scariest thing I've done while driving is going through a four-way intersection with a bicyclist in front of me. I still go waaay too slow-- and my turns are too wide. I freaked out when I went 45 mph on a "highway" (where I saw a total of one car on a five minute drive). I'm never sure who has right-of-way

I highly doubt that I can get 40 hours of driving in during the course of this summer. Driving the big ole van? Parallel parking? Driving a car with my brothers in it? (Brothers who already tease me about driving?) A highway? St. Louis?

Yeah. Five months until a possible driver's test. I'm dead meat. But Mom and Dad are kinda counting on having another slave-- ahem, driver, LOL-- to take everyone to various activities. So... that test is kinda inevitable as soon as possible.

There's a quote Mother Teresa: "God never gives us more than we can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

Boy, does that quote ring true on so many levels.

When people type...

WHEN PEOPLE TYPE LIKE THIS THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD SCREAMS AT ME. IT IS AGONIZING!

When people type like this, I feel uncommonly hyper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When. People. Type. Like. This. I. Cannot. Help. But. Stop. After. Each. And. Every. Word.

WhEn peOpLE TYpE LiKE tHiS tHe vOIce inSide My hEAd fLuCtUatEs

when people type like this i feel like they are trying to whisper

whenpeopletalklikethisifeelliketheyarebeingquietandslurringtheirwords

WHENPEOPLETALKLIKETHISITSLIKELISTENINGTOLARRYINSILLYSONGSWITHLARRY

when ppl type lk this i feel lk they rnt puting efort in it

Grandpa's Obituary

Grandpa Rackers' obituary is wonderful. Here's a link: http://www.newstribune.com/articles/2010/03/24/obituaries/nt282obits_rackers2010.txt

Thank you all for all your prayers! We really appreciated them.

The Tripods Attack

You know how I am always meaning to write up nice, wonderful book reviews but never get the time to?

This was one of those books. My friend Elena wrote up an excellent review. I could add a few things, but its been awhile since I've read the book. :P Elena pretty much summed it up, though.

To read her review please CLICK HERE.


PS I will update this blog again sometime. I have many, many things to post. I think I've given up on posting anything left from 2009, like Christmas. And stuff from January and the likes. Hmm. This blog is becoming much less of an "updating family and friends" and much, much more of a "Shaylynn's rambling thoughts". Which is okay. But I still want to get some of my pictures up.

Happy Easter!

It's not quite yet Easter, though a few hours will make it! I have much to update y'all on, and no time at the moment. So I shall merely wish you a very blessed Easter!