How to Speak Shaylynnese

Shaylynnese, otherwise know as, “That funny way Shaylynn talks,” is simply English with some simple rules thrown in. There are no exceptions, exceptions to exceptions, or other idiotic language measures-- except, of course, for the "ordinary English" part.


The Great and Mighty Rules (in no particular order and by no means comprehensive):

1) use English grammar properly
2) adding “-ish” to the end of any noun automatically turns it into an adjective
3) adding “-ish” to the end of any word adds a degree of doubt to a statemen
4) use large/uncommon words in ordinary conversation
5)a comparative/superlative purposefully misused is done to illustrate a point 
6) randomly slip into a British accent (or any accent, real or imaginary) and use words that go with it ("rather, reckon, blimey, lorry," etc.)
7) talk half with your hands or facial expressions
8) use words like “randomly” and “actually” at least five times a day
9) use an awfully large number of adjectives or adverbs
10) when describing anything wonderful, speak in a slow, overly dramatic poetic voice
11) make up your own words
12) borrow made up words (thilly, bloopa, friendle, Chewbacca)
13) talk very fast
14) do not use cliché similes and metaphors, instead, compare everything to fictional/fantasy stories
15) use old fashioned slang (jolly, dickens, awfully)
16) use sound effects
17) latch onto random/weird/technical phrases, such as "skew divergent array" or "single sided bonding device" (ie, tape)
18) use quotes abundantly-- especially ones from Chesterton
19) don't forget to learn little bits and pieces of other languages, and include that vocabulary in everyday conversation-- notwithstanding the fact that you barely know what you are saying and are using no grammar. Be sure to include obscure languages such as Elvish and Ye Olde English.
20) Exaggerate. Alot. As in, every single word must be exaggerated.
21) When writing, make ample use of pictures, codes, ciphers, and made-up shorthand, so that enemy spies will never decipher the meaning of your diary or science study guide.

Ink and Fairydust

I'm pretty sure that I have mentioned that I have written for the Ink and Fairydust, a publication of the FairyTaleNovels Fourm (fans of Regina Doman).
Here is the latest issue! It is very long, but worth reading! I wrote two articles and made one comic for it. I won't tell you what pages they are on- you must find them for yourself! My fourm name is Nenetta. :)
There were some conversion issues, so some words are misspelled (and almost all captial "N"s are invisible. Don't ask me why.)

Halloween

This Halloween was rather strange... I didn't trick or treat, and we didn't carve pumpkins. However, I did finish my Elf costume! William, Nicholas, and I all were Lord of the Rings characters!

The pictures were taken on Dad's camera, and they wound up with Grandma (since Dad is staying at Grandma and Papa's house during the week while he's commuting until we move), and she edited them and put them on facebook. Of course, these aren't all the pictures, but let's just call it a teaser, shall we? Someday I would like to do a true photoshoot. :)

Frodo, smoking the Longbottom Leaf of Hobbit fame as he stares, ponderously, into the distance. (Note that the Ring of Power is around his neck!)

< Frodo, in a very epic pose. :)Nicholas wore his Easter outfit from last year (I was the one who pointed out that the vest was quite the Hobbit style!), a cloak made by Mom, and the Ring of Power (from Ben's Lord of the Rings Risk game) around a chain.

Strider, a Ranger from the North

Elendil, king of Gondor and Arnor

Aragorn, son of Arathorn

< Aragorn, prepared to charge into battle. William saved up his money to buy a real (albeit unsharpened) sword- a replica's of Aragorn from when he was still known as the Ranger from the North (in other words, not the sword of Narsil). It is a very nice sword. William wore a "chainmaille" shirt found at Goodwill, a fake leather tunic made by Mom, jeans, Mom's boots, and a homemade cloak. He stole my Evenstar for the costume, and I also made him "The Ring of Barahir" (aka Aragorn's ring).

^The only picture of my cotume you'll get to see for awhile! I made the costume (jewelry included!) entirely by myself. Well, Mom helped me figure out the sewing pattern and she sewed the collar on. But other than that!

Okay, so Ben was just too funny. He sat there with the thing of candy, and would randomly start talking or moving. We got several screams!

Three our four people read the "Mean Ogre" sign. They read it aloud, and as they were finishing, Ben cried indignantly, "I'm not mean!"

The funniest incident was probably with a few teen girls. I didn't get to see this one, but from what he said...

The two girls walked forward and read the signs.

"Should I grab some candy?" (in a tone of surpressed horror)

"I don't know, its probably a person tricking us."

"I dunno, it doesn't look real."

"You get the candy."
"I don't want to."

"Is it real?"

"Let's throw a rock at it and see."

As you can imagine, Ben was rather concerned that they would chuck a rock at his head. Instead, they threw a bag of candy at him and then ran away without getting the bag or the candy from Ben. !!!

Marcus was originally going to be King Theoden (or at least, a king with a sword and all, us Tolkien geeks named him Theoden), but he wouldn't wear the costume. So he was a firefighter instead.

Adelynn was the most darling little pink bunny rabbit EVER!

And now I interrupt whatever important thing you might be doing...

...to write an extraordinarily long post on recent happenings, most of which probably do not concern you personally, and therefore leave you no obligation to read my ramblings.

If, on the slight chance that you have read further than my last sentence, you may feel free to continue reading my ramblings. These particular ramblings relate to certain hectic events that have occurred since my last post.


As I wrote before, I got my driver's permit! After reading through the Missouri Driver's Guide in a record three days, I finally convinced Mom to take me to the Highway Patrol and take my test. I got a horrible score- 87%, but it was a passing score. Besides, one of the questions was mathematically incorrect. How in the world ought I answer it?
In any case, I did indeed get my permit. And my picture is not entirely idiotic!
Yesterday, my parents were out at my brothers' soccer games. At 9:30, the realtor office called. They spoke the dreaded words.

"May we show your house?"

The worst part was what followed:

"At 11:00?"

This is what ran through my mind: ELEVEN O'CLOCK?! Holy COW, that is almost an hour from now! Oh my goodness, Mom and Dad are not here! Okay, okay, deeeeep breath. Your bedroom is clean. Good. The kitchen isn't trashed. Okay. Ben is here. He needs to finish his bedroom first. Okay. Deep breath. The library? Just needs a quick vacuuming and putting the horizontally placed books on vertically. The atrium? We cleaned that last night, just needs a mopping. The craft room? THE CRAFT ROOM! OH MY GOODNESS, what am I going to do? My sewing project is out! My paints are out! The crayons and markers and papers and the whole box of toy cars are out! Okay. Breath. I can shove all of that in the giant drawer which happens to be empty. The TV room? HOLY COW, THAT PLACE IS A PIGSTY!  And my bathroom! Adelynn left all her dirty laundry there!

(a somewhat accurate picture of the state of the house)

At this point, I miraculasly kept myself from freaking out. I scurried like a madman to clean the craft room while I set Adelynn on the task of the TV room. I talked to Mom on the phone. I scrubbed the bathroom in a grand total of three minutes. etc. etc. etc.


Finally Mom and Dad got back, around 10:15. Dad gets pretty freaked out whenever we show the house, so everyone was hurrying around in such a fashion that it actually might have been detrimental to the amount of work actually accomplished.

But we did it. By 10:54, the van was crammed full of dirty laundry, and the whole family was crammed into the other vehicles. We went off to grab a five minute lunch and then head to the soccer feilds. Nick, Will, and Addie all had games to go.


Now comes the fun part. Nick's game was over. Dad, in his usual no-explanation mode, brought some people home. Then he handed me the car keys. I looked at him, uncomprehending.

"Well, get in!"

Ooookay. The car was in the driveway. I sat down. I located the gas and the brake. I expected Dad to show me where the blinker, headlights, etc. are. Then he might bring me to a relatively empty parking lot and let me practice a bit. After all, I'd never even sat in the driver's seat before. I was not prepared for what he said next.

"Okay, Shaylynn, you are going to take us to the soccer game."

WHAT?!

Well, let us say I was insanely nervous that first drive. I know I never once checked the rearview mirror. My turns were far too wide. I went 20 mph on a 30/35 mph road. I nearly ran into the curb. But I survived.

And a few hours later, I drove us back. Then I drove around the neighborhood, practicing turning and breaking. Dad "only" had to grab the wheel once. But it was fun. :)

Now I feel like a teenager

1) I now own a grand total of 2 purses
2) I own a pair of shoes that I rarely wear
3) I HAVE A DRIVER'S PERMIT

Haircut

On Wednesday I cut my hair! I donated nearly 12 inches to Locks of Love.

And this is my new haircut!

Adelynn and I

Adelynn found a box with some of my old dresses and immediately fell in love with them!

Adelynn, age 5

Shaylynn, age 4

There doesn't look like much similarity there, aside from the dress. In this picture, however, there is a hint of Addie's grin.